LOVE EXAMINED
Godly Christian love, expressed fully toward God and others, should be a primary goal of all Christians, as Jesus declared it to be the greatest of all commandments. Yet, how can we define this love, and how can it be manifested?
Love Examined
1. Love is truly an important quality in the life of one desiring to please God. How do we know? God's word reveals that if He were to choose to be represented by one quality, that quality would be, not power, not justice, not even wisdom, but rather, it would be "love," as 1John 4:8 says "God is love." But how can love be defined, and what principles have a bearing on displaying it's many facets? Love might be defined as a pure unselfishness that seeks the long-term welfare of all others in accord with divine wisdom, especially as it relates to pleasing God and being in line to receive God's blessings, true happiness and eternal life by God's kindness. Let's examine the analysis of love found at 1Corinthians 13:4-8, and consider principles behind it's application.
"Love is patient (loyal) and kind. Love is not jealous." (1Cor 13:4a)
2. Patient loyalty is the first demonstration of love listed. This is crucial to maintaining our Christian endurance or integrity through trials. Such obedience to God is required and should be motivated by love for Him and his right ways. "The love of God means that we observe His commandments, but His commandments are not burdensome." (1Jn 5:3). Jehovah God's commands are given out of true love for the loving benefit of all His creatures over the long-term. Obeying them means eternal life for us and others. Among other things, His commands serve to protect our spirituality and our peaceful relationships with God and others. This quality is evidently the “loyal” in “loyal love.” Loved ones may occasionally stray from a godly command or principle. Thus this vital quality of patient loyalty is described as being able to lovingly endure a disturbance in a relationship, while using God-approved means to seek to correct it, with blazing hope of an eventual restoration of the approved condition. It does so generally without a complaining spirit or bitter fault-finding. One demonstrating this quality is truly showing loyal love or loyalty to the person or people. If the disturbance involves one or more other persons, then the individual may also be showing a love of true peace, perhaps going out of his or her way to restore peace between them, promoting God's purpose of genuine peaceful unity earth-wide.
3. Kindness is the second demonstration of love listed. The first two qualities listed, patient loyalty and kindness, nearly sum up Christian love in it's entirety. Kindness is the quality of taking an active interest in the welfare of others, offering helpful acts. True love certainly looks for the benefit of others--it is in no way selfish or self-centered. It takes delight in a willingness to give and assist others in some helpful way. This quality is uniquely among the "tender affections" listed by Paul at Col. 3:12, which true Christians, "holy and loved," are to become clothed with, thus beautified and identified by such qualities, in reflection of and to the honor of Jehovah God. Our kindness to others should be an extension of the hand of Jehovah God in desiring to show kindness to all persons, as He himself is the ultimate giver, the "giver of every good gift and every perfect present." (James 1:17) To cultivate this quality, it is noteworthy that we find kindness listed as one of the fruits of God's holy spirit, which the Scriptures show we should petition God for, moving Him to offer such holy spirit in kindness to us. (Gal 5:22; Luke 11:13)
4. "Love is not jealous." The first non-demonstration of love listed. This quality clearly has nothing to do with true love, as it actually opposes its existence and its cultivation. Related to one of the significant ten commandments, outlawed, jealousy and envy have had terrible effects on humanity. Our heartfelt desires are involved, and the commandment of the Law regarding envy is one of the few specifically directed against such desires of the heart. The tenth commandment states: "You must not desire your fellowman's house. You must not desire your fellowman's wife, nor his slave man nor his slave girl, nor his bull nor his donkey, nor anything that belongs to your fellowman." (Ex 20:17). Rather, the true Christian promotes peace with others, treasures precious unity and love, and unselfishly "rejoices with those who rejoice" rather than developing unhealthy desire for the things others have or jealously desiring to bring them down in some way. Instead, the counsel is to "Take exquisite delight in Jehovah, and He will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps 37:4).
5. Thus "trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." (Prov 3:5). The proverbial wisely foresighted "shrewd" person, is able to see the consequences of a good and bad course of life and thus avoid many snares, without having to experience wrongful behavior and the resulting ill effects his- or herself (Prov 22:3). The effect of jealousy is described more than once in the Scriptures, one such statement is simply "Jealousy is rottenness to the bones." (Prov 14:30). It is contrasted with "a calm heart" which "gives life to the body." Jealousy actually breaks down the loving spirit that an individual or a family may have worked hard to cultivate. "For wherever there are jealousy and contentiousness, there will be disorder and every vile thing." As regards "contentiousness," this world has promoted contentiousness and competition nearly from it's inception, and it exudes such a spirit that should be guarded against by lovers of the God of truth, true love, peace, and goodness. Rather than comparing ourselves to others, the contrasting recommendation is to look at one’s own progress, aiming to improve over last week, last month, or this same time last year, to "let each one examine his own actions, then he will have cause for rejoicing in regard to himself alone, and NOT in comparison with the other person." (Gal 6:4). Or, as worded in the Amplified Bible, “But let every person carefully scrutinize and examine and test his own conduct and his own work. He can then have the personal satisfaction and joy of doing something commendable [in itself alone] without [resorting to] boastful comparison with his neighbor.”
"Love does not brag, does not get puffed up." (1Cor 13:4b)
6. These two additional antagonizers of love actually promote the destructive jealousy and envy previously discussed. Bragging about one's possessions, for instance, builds unhealthy desire in others for material things in general, as well as perhaps the things bragged about. Bragging about oneself or one's talents or abilities promotes comparisons and related competition among others, for the desire to be perhaps more liked, accepted, and respected by others. However, what about desiring the favor of Jehovah God, our loving Father and Life-giver, to be loved and appreciated by Him? "It is the blessing of Jehovah that makes one rich, and He adds no pain with it." (Prov 10:22). If we remain humble and choose to "boast in Jehovah" instead, as we appreciate His abilities and gifts toward us, can He not help us have a reasonable amount of dignity, acceptance, and respect from others, especially from those we're close to? (Jere 9:23,24; 1Cor 1:31) Jesus humbly served God, refusing to boast, but regarding his level of dignity by even close disciples, there were ups and downs. However Jehovah protected their relationship and proper view of Jesus, through such provisions as the transfiguration and other loving interventions. Yes, the transfiguration served to increase respect for Jesus in the hearts of Peter, James, and John, while they couldn’t reveal it to others before Jesus’ resurrection (Matt 17:9).
7. "Love does not get puffed up." Again, not a manifestation of true love. The last days would find many "betrayers, headstrong, puffed up with pride" (1Tim 3:4). Anything linked to damaging pride is disastrous. "Pride is before a crash" and "Haughty eyes and an arrogant heart--the lamp that guides the [unrighteous]--is sin." (Prov 21:4, Prov 16:18). Some may be puffed "up" because they make a show of knowledge, sinfully drawing attention to themselves, "seeking [their] own glory," while "he who seeks the glory of the One who sent him, this one is true and there is NO unrighteousness in him." (John 7:18). Elsewhere in the Scriptures we read "Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." (1Cor 8:1) Thus we see a contrast. What's the difference? Does not true love require knowledge?
8. Yes of course, but loving with true godly knowledge requires the key of humility, and is linked to genuine wisdom which knows how to humbly apply the knowledge skillfully for the true benefit and uplifting of others. "By his mouth the apostate bring his neighbor to ruin, but by knowledge the righteous are rescued." (Prov 11:9) True love would be the motivation for this, and is deeply interested in applying knowledge to either rescue or assist others to the attaining of endless life in true peace and happiness in God's new world of righteousness. This assistance should be provided in a proper way, humbly attending to others' needs and spiritual growth. This creates a refreshing environment for people to truly learn in and benefit from, after the pattern of Jesus: "Come to me, all you who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am mild-tempered and [humble-hearted], and you will find refreshment for yourselves." (Matt 11:28-30)
9. "Love does not behave indecently." (1Cor 13:5a) "Behaving indecently" can basically be defined as engaging in ill-mannered behavior "not conforming to standards of propriety, good taste, or morality." Such behavior is often considered offensive or shocking to right-minded persons, and may include being rude, coarse, or disrespectful. However, "the way man sees is not the way God sees. For mere man sees what appears to the eyes, but Jehovah sees into the heart." So occasionally people are at least mildly surprised to discover what truly is and isn't offensive in God's eyes, our holy Father and "judge of all the earth." In general, though, commonly accepted standards are at times violated and result in surprise and shock. What effect would this have if such takes place, or worse yet is practiced, by someone claiming to represent God and Christ? Such could bring reproach on Jehovah's name and reputation, and the reputation of a congregation of God's people. It would bring reproach on the individual whose "freeness of speech" as a clean representative of God may also be in question. Also worthy of note is the need at times to avoid even an appearance of wrong, in spite of the truth of the situation, to avoid misunderstandings. How important to be careful to be aware of accepted standards of the Bible, as well as those in the local or worldwide community as they comply with the standards of God's word. Thus respecting and adhering to such may allow for a good witness to be given and opportunity for people to see the beautiful ways of true, loving worship of Jehovah, and yearn to live to serve Him forever.
"Love does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury." (1Cor 13:5b)
10. Regarding "love is kind," it was stated that true love is in no way selfish, or self-centered. Thus it "does not look for its own interests." Now reasonably one should lovingly care for his own duties or responsibilities before God. However, a truly loving person is certainly not absorbed in constantly seeking his own selfish benefits. Yes there will be many physical blessings in life under the Kingdom, but there too, those should not be our selfish focus, otherwise rich blessings will be lost. True happiness is in Jehovah's blessings on our spirituality, our relationships with Him and others--not in wanton pursuit of selfish benefits or pleasures. Still, doing things together, work and play, enjoying balanced activities with friends and loved ones, with close bonds of loyalty to God and one another, will be the order of the day.
11. "Love does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury." Two related non-demonstrations of true love. One with true love is not easily offended by the conduct of others. This is because, as in the case of a loving marriage, their love is such that a mate's minor mistakes and flaws do not cause the other to consider it an attack on his or her personal dignity. So in fact, "love does not keep account of the injury." There's generally no record kept of such mistakes. As has been said, "a marriage is a union of two good forgivers." Anger is known as a common human emotion, however it has little place among the loving servants of Jehovah God. When such feelings manifest themselves, action should generally be taken to channel the energy into constructive ways of fixing the problem that's contributing to the angry feelings. "But now really put them all away from you, wrath, anger, abusive speech, and obscene talk out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another. Strip off the old personality with its practices, and clothe yourselves with the new personality, which through accurate knowledge is being made new according to the image of the One who created it." The virtue of gentle mild-manneredness assists greatly in rejection of anger when accompanied by the practice of self-control. The quality promotes gentle ways of handling the day's situations. "A slave of the Lord does not need to fight, but needs to be gentle toward all, qualified to teach, showing restraint when wronged." (2Tim 2:24).
12. "Love does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth." True love takes no pleasure in badness as determined by Jehovah God, since He made us, knows how we tick, and truly knows what's in our best long-term interests and happiness. So such "unrighteousness" contributes to ill consequences of various sorts, hurting humans in some way or another. Thus one with true love does not rejoice over any wrong, lies, injustice--any form of unrighteousness, but does rejoice with the truth. The truth promotes genuine happiness, as Jehovah is the God of truth, who hates lies and deception, and teaches us how to be truly happy in line with truth. Truthful, or divine, knowledge is largely concerned with truth about God, it promotes life and leads it's lovers to endless life in God's new world. It promotes life now, as well: "By knowledge the righteous are rescued." (Prov 11:9). If something is wrong or misleading, one with true love does not fear to speak out in the interests of truth and other people, which could mean their life. Love rejoices with the truth, even though it may upset previous beliefs held or statements made ("I was wrong to believe...the truth is..."). Thus true love involves a measure of humility, to acknowledge past error in belief and desire to correct it. As has been said, "humility and love go hand in hand," and "there is no true love without honesty," honesty also being included in the concept of genuine faithfulness.
13. "Love bears all things." This may be literally rendered "all things it is covering." This may remind us of the statement: "Love covers a multitude of sins." Again, minor mistakes and flaws shouldn't be exaggerated and unkindly exposed to others unnecessarily, as if such were an affront on one's personal dignity. The one who makes a minor mistake is usually aware of it and wants to improve and correct it next time if possible.
14. "Love believes all things." Love believes all things in God's word, from the God of truth. Love does place full trust in God, and a measure of trust in others--among marriage mates who are to be "one flesh", among godly family members, and others--however true love is not gullible, or naive, believing "every word" others tell them (Prov 14:15). It loves true godly wisdom, and related discernment, to judge between matters, as well as foresighted shrewdness, to see the outcome of both good and bad decisions. It can see through most attempts at deception and seeks to avoid such. Such godly wisdom is used in the application of love, to do or accomplish what is truly and wisely in the best interests of others.
15. "Love hopes all things." This is in line with the loving aspect of patient loyalty, which is able to endure a disruption in a relationship with blazing hope of a recovery over time, patiently seeking to improve the situation in any God-approved way. Jehovah is the God of hope and comfort. He urgently seeks to provide hope wherever it is needed on the part of mankind, as He has done from the beginning. (Gen 3:15). Such hopeful statements and promises are found throughout the Inspired Scriptures for our examination, appreciation, and confidence. Such hope lifts our spirits and allows for radiant joy in spite of challenging circumstances. As James 1:2 puts it, "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet with various trials, knowing as you do that this tested quality of your faith produces endurance...Happy is the man who keeps on enduring trial, because on becoming approved he will receive the crown of life, which Jehovah promised to those who continue loving Him."
16. "Love endures all things." One truly loving God may undergo trials at times, which we must strive to handle obediently. "The love of God means that we observe His commandments." Significantly, "No temptation has come upon you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation He will also make the way out in order for you to be able to endure it." (1Cor 10:13). Appreciating this, one truly loving God with genuine loyalty and Christian endurance does not wish to ever disobey Him, bringing into question one's integrity, simply to end a trial sooner than necessary. "Consider it all joy when you meet with various trials." Patiently trusting in Jehovah leads to more fully developed endurance. This leads to an approved condition by Jehovah God with genuine hope of qualifying for a joyful everlasting life. Such endurance in integrity leads to a more fully developed love with genuine wisdom to assist others to grow to true loving spiritual maturity. Thus nears the reaching of maturity in the spiritual development of a true Christian: "Supply to your endurance godly devotion, to your godly devotion, brotherly affection, to your brotherly affection love. For if these things (among other qualities) exist in you and overflow, they will prevent you from being either inactive or unfruitful regarding the accurate knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ." (2Pet 1:7,8)
17. "Love never fails." True love that has reached maturity refuses to violate a course of loving integrity to God and others. As a result, this love is truly loyal and faithful.
18. To conclude, what an assembly of ideas in the passage of 1Corinthians 13:4-8 regarding the various aspects of genuine Christian love! By applying ourselves to comprehending them and observing these in our everyday speech and actions, we are learning to live the way Jehovah God intended for humans, enabling us to serve Him properly and truly live peaceably, respectfully and joyfully before Him among one another with everlasting life in view. Truly learning this may also allow us the opportunity of teaching to others this way of life that they too may have a share in this wonderful future God has purposed for mankind.
An interesting concept for keeping track of some of the most important aspects and reminders to showing true love to Jehovah, your marriage mate, or others, is to make use of the 10 fingers we've been given.
RIGHT HAND
The index finger of the right hand, often used to signify the number one, could represent "Unselfish Peaceable Oneness, or Unity". Oneness signifies unity of purpose among a people, certainly appropriate in a family or among God's organization of servants. Another purpose of this is to help ward off destructive jealousy from among companions, etc. A peaceable person goes out of his way to maintain peace or restore it where it was lost, and does not get caught up in petty rivalries or competitions.
The middle(third) finger of the right hand reminds us that "Jehovah is the (strongest) third cord in the threefold cord of marriage, and Obedience to Him and His Word protects our spirituality and relationships."
The ring finger of the right hand represents "Like Abraham and Sarah, have trust in and humble respect for the loving headship arrangement"
The pinky of the right hand might be "Minimize minor mistakes, and flaws of others, and do not be offended by them, because they're not an attack meant to embarrass the mate or another person"
The thumb of the right hand, having a major role in the function of the entire hand, may be chosen to represent "Seeking God's honor in all things," or simply "God's glory," which coincidentally supports the oneness or unity of the index finger, as the Scripture says "he that seeks the glory of the one who sent him, this one is true and there is no unrighteousness in him." Significantly, we need to become familiar with God's Word the Bible if we're to truly honor God and avoid 'speaking of our own originality, and thereby seeking our own glory.' (John 7:18)
LEFT HAND
The left hand largely focuses on qualities that protect our spirit.
The thumb of the left hand represents vital "Self-Control" which is essential to displaying, among other things, the gentle mildness of the LH index finger
The index finger of the left hand represents "Gentle Mildness", an attitude chosen throughout the day which promotes a gentle manner in all things. This is one of the important spirit-protective qualities.
The middle finger of the left hand represents "Long-Suffering Patience," or Loyalty, which puts up with an upset in a relationship with blazing hope that it will be restored, while attempting in God-approved ways to help the relationship, and generally enduring without excessive complaint or fault-finding. This may be the "loyal" in "loyal love"
On the ring finger of the left hand, for instance, might be an expression like: "Un-cheating Undying Faithfulness*, to God and one's mate, with Trustworthiness."
The pinky of the left hand may signify "Love and Humility go hand in hand, have Humble Appreciation and Respect for God, His good gifts and perfect presents, and gifts of others, especially spiritual ones"
*Faithfulness signifies Being Enduringly True in God's Righteousness, Dependable and Trustworthy, and Out of love for God, Consistently obedient to His laws and ways. Righteousness is adherence to God's way, the framework of a happy and successful life and family, both now and long into the future, everlastingly